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specters

by nostraightanswer

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  • Full Digital Discography

    Get all 25 nostraightanswer releases available on Bandcamp and save 10%.

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Underneath the Echoes, Moon, Walking Along a Dead Line, No Saints Around, I'll Be Here, I Dream Of Mending, empty, specters -instrumental file-, and 17 more. , and , .

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  • Limited Edition CD
    Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Backed by Interface Collection backers on Kickstarter, this limited physical edition comes in a jewel case with full color printed CD, insert, and 16 page booklet, alongside a collection of related merchandise, all featuring visuals by rice.

    UPDATE: Due to manufacturing limitations and COVID-19, the specters limited edition will no longer be signed, nor include a dust cover.

    *Visuals are subject to change.

    Check out the Interface Collection: www.kickstarter.com/projects/nostraightanswer/interface-a-vocaloid-album-collection

    Includes unlimited streaming of specters via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

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1.
bokeh 04:26 video
while the lights burn red in the back of my eyes i take deep breaths; just a matter of time before the world laid before me, with starlit skies blurs into oblivion, but you'll still thrive if all i'll have left are the memories of your dark eyes, as close as we'd be it breaks my heart that i'll never ever see them again i'll want to see them again but not even the future can predict what i might see what i might see what might i see? i know one day i'll fly away and find someplace where i might stay where i'll pretend to see my face in the mirror on the wall i placed and if you were to come to me with one last gift that i might see a bouquet's a bouquet, and that's well and okay but i won't pretend if i only see bokeh perhaps one day i'll become a machine and view our world like no human being but even then, they'll be camera feeds and soon all that tech will be obsolete then i'll need it all replaced all this just to see your face it'd break my heart if i couldn't see a trace anymore can't be replaced anymore and not even the future can predict what i might do what would i do? i know one day i'll fly away and find someplace where i might stay where i'll pretend to see my face in the mirror on the wall i placed and if you were to come to me with one last gift that i might see a bouquet's a bouquet, and that's well and okay but i won't pretend if i only see bokeh but i won't pretend if i only see bokeh but i won't pretend if i only see bokeh but i won't pretend b-but i won't pretend b-but but i won't pretend b-but i won't but i won't
2.
with the long days and the long nights i'm mystified i'm here, walking sometimes following the moonlight where she goes ooh, i'm tired of conversations of your relations stuck in my mind cuz i've been hoping someone would be so kind... but if nobody will have me then i'll just have to love myself don't need nobody else to tell me right, bring me life, walk with me through hell just have to love myself don't need nobody else to tell me lies, compromise with a wishing well don't compromise, i might cry, but i'll love myself i'll take my time, toss a dime in the wishing well spend my time within a dream i'll write a page for every scene ooh, i'm tired of all the faces and all the traces of bitter blue stuck in my mind cuz i've been waiting for a long time but nobody will have me so i'll just have to love myself don't need nobody else to tell me right, bring me life, walk with me through hell just have to love myself don't need nobody else to tell me lies, compromise with a wishing well if what i'm faking is what i'm making then what am i waiting for? cuz i just have to love myself don't need nobody else i'll tell the lies, compromise with a wishing well hey, ooh... just have to love myself don't need nobody else to tell me right, bring me life, walk with me through hell just have to love myself don't need nobody else to tell me lies, compromise, oh, i'm wishing, but i don't have to love myself don't have to play pretend yeah i can love myself, but i'm waiting for you... ooh...
3.
face to face 03:39
tryna make conversation tryna get hold of me tryna stand by my station so you catch me 'fore i leave subtlety ain't so special cuz it's simply plain to see you're keeping tabs on my temple so i'm keeping you away from me every now and then i catch a glimpse of you just in the rearview know i see you, too every now and then i play this game with you i guess we'll see who plays the blues tonight tripping all over the place i don't really give a damn 'bout you anyway buzz off boy, mind the personal space bet you think i'm a toy, don't care what i say, no no so come on, give it a taste you can follow behind, at a cowardly pace not a matter of time, nor a matter of place bet you just can't stand being face to face, no trying to sneak a secret trying to steal a peek no one's space is too sacred if it's where you wanna be tryna make friends with my friends tryna get close to me you think you've got a hand on my threads tripping all over the place i don't really give a damn 'bout you anyway buzz off boy, mind the personal space bet you think i'm a toy, don't care what i say, no no so come on, give it a taste you can follow behind, at a cowardly pace not a matter of time, nor a matter of place bet you just can't stand being face to face, no bet you just can't stand being face to face, no no wander too close, try to figure me out got reservations, with you i'm without never enough for the thirst in the drought no salutation, you scream and you shout so go on make a scene act like you're my everything so go on make a scene act like i'm your everything maybe if you got inside my dreams maybe if you stole away the keys to my house and laid like a mouse if you're a king i'm a queen then, baby tripping all over the place i don't really give a damn 'bout you anyway buzz off boy, mind the personal space bet you think i'm a toy, don't care what i say, no no so come on, give it a taste you can follow behind, at a cowardly pace not a matter of time, nor a matter of place bet you just can't stand being face to face, no not a matter of time, nor a matter of place, no no bet you just can't stand being face to face, no no buzz off boy, mind the personal space, oh oh bet you just can't stand being face to face, no bet you just can't stand being face to face, no no bet you just can't stand being face to face, no no bet you just can't stand being face to face
4.
stay back, don't touch me i'm just a little bit paralyzed stay back, don't watch me you'll see everything in my eyes sun gleaming through the window failing to light the room reflecting what i don't know singing a random tune, ooh and i reminisce in the stillness imagine your heart on the balance while i feel my own break in a way i feared to know collect my thoughts and leave them scattered on the coffin, mm they're moving on but now we've gathered on a moment, clinging on electrified i close my eyes close them tight and realize what were the last words on your mind? the last words on your mind a prayer for another? or thoughts of a lover? a wish for a brother? a long lost dream, on a trip to the gutter now? and there's no way to explain just how the red-stained glass obscures your resting frame collect my thoughts and leave them scattered on the coffin, mm they're moving on, they're moving on, they're moving on electrified i close my eyes close them tight and realize what were the last words on your mind? the last words on your mind the last words on your mind the last words... the last words... the last words... we'll never know we'll never know we'll never know
5.
empty 04:37
(three, four) cold face, eyes closed you're a little under the weather but i'm not doing much better but we've got nothing else to do keeping us warm but not much is new falling asleep while we're taking our route and i know, i know, i know how you're feeling deep inside across the seas, the oceans how you think it's by design the echoes of the chambers pulsing blood between the veins but you make a conversation all the same have you ever felt empty? have you ever been a slave to the things inside your brain that's supposed to keep you sane but you just wanna be set free? have you ever taken ecstasy just to feel something good? would you do it if you could regardless if you should if it made you feel less empty? cuz maybe i would yeah maybe i would if it made me feel less empty less empty less empty sunset so soon and here you are reaching a fever but i'm not doing much better still we've got nothing else to do keeping our cool but not much is new falling asleep while we're taking our route and i know, i know, i know how you're feeling deep inside across the stars, the darkness oh, the gods and their designs the echoes of our chambers proving love is in our veins but we're still just counting numbers all the same have you ever felt empty? have you ever been a slave to the things inside your brain that's supposed to keep you sane but you just wanna be set free? have you ever taken ecstasy just to feel something good? would you do it if you could regardless if you should if it made you feel less empty? cuz maybe i would yeah maybe i would if it made me feel less empty waking in my bed feeling almost dead had enough of aching had enough of faking everybody needs to know it now everybody, come on, gather 'round everybody, come and hear me out is anybody listening? know without a doubt i'm not gonna shout but i've kept it to myself too long i'm being strong but it's too bad that the way things are there isn't anyone to blame but me the victim of my deepest scar it isn't much to say but i don't wanna be empty anymore i don't wanna be empty anymore cuz i'm always by myself even when i'm with someone else and i know that i can't take it anymore i don't wanna feel left out anymore i just wanna feel alive more and more i'm taking photos of myself leaving reminders on my shelf trying anything to feel better for a score cuz i don't wanna be empty anymore, no i don't wanna be empty anymore i don't wanna be empty anymore, no i don't wanna be empty anymore oh, no
6.
the dots 04:35
cold when communication fails i always feel so low alone again, i've always been how could you know? the breaking of the glass a siren of the past calling out our names no words are left to pass save the die that has been cast between you and me a spark, a rhythm, a great white star a mark, a mission that's way too far away connecting the dots, what will we find? the truth, a lie, a moment astray? a lingering thought will shine a light into the sky and save us one day replacing the pain with the growth of an angel a new view and angle, too the vision we sought will come to light but still we might be losing our way still we lie in pieces 'cross the floor after we fell no time to etch or sketch the feelings we can't tell a secondary pass a lecture in a class i will sleep right through, i'm sure deferring to the masses so when i come in last, it's not next to you the smoke, a screen of grey and blue and when it clears, i'm still not sure what to do connecting the dots, what will we find? the truth, a lie, a moment astray? a lingering thought will shine a light into the sky and save us one day replacing the pain with the growth of an angel a new view and angle, too the vision we sought will come to light but still we might be losing our way running on empty the should or should not be i retrace my mornings at night calm and collected is all i'm presenting to everyone left and right cursing the words that i know that they heard i'd not meant to be starting a fight try as i might... connecting the dots, what will we find? the truth, a lie, a moment astray? a lingering thought will shine a light into the sky and save us one day replacing the pain with the growth of an angel a new view and angle, too the vision we sought will come to light but still we might be losing our way connecting the dots, what will we find? the truth, a lie, a moment astray? a lingering thought will shine a light into the sky and save us one day replacing the pain with the growth of an angel a new view and angle, too the vision we sought will come to light but still we might be losing our way but still we might be losing our way replacing the pain with the growth of an angel we might be losing our way connecting the dots, what will we find? connecting the dots, what will we find? but still we might be losing our way
7.
oh oh oh woah oh oh oh oh oh oh woah oh oh oh no time for peace and kindness we've got too much on our plate, give it a rest what's the point anyway? you can play this song but no one will listen you know the top of the class? how they sit on their grass ignoring the world as it burns? we could've figured it out they could've turned it around but they pretend like they never heard as we fall, the sky's turning red tonight like plastic dynamite count and close your eyes when the clock strikes midnight we'll all be dead oh oh oh woah oh oh oh yeah we'll all be dead tonight oh oh oh woah oh oh oh if we can't turn back the time with rivers running red now as we hear the sirens ring out there's no reason to stay if we take no action, we'll all be wiped away so break into a run there's nowhere to hide, the rich already won, oh and if you have the will, you'll come with me cuz i know you have time to kill as we fall, the sky's burning red tonight nuclear bombs in sight count and close your eyes when the clock strikes midnight we'll all be dead, right? oh oh oh woah oh oh oh yeah we'll all be dead tonight oh oh oh woah oh oh oh if we can't turn back the as the world turns upside down chaos razing through the ground tell me, can you hear that sound? you hear that sound? as we fall, the sky's burning red tonight gotta win this fight count and close my eyes if the clock strikes midnight we'll all be dead, right? oh oh oh woah oh oh oh yeah, we'll all be dead tonight oh oh oh woah oh oh oh if we can't turn back the time oh oh oh woah oh oh oh yeah, we'll all be dead tonight
8.
some damn drama queen got it up in their head again if they want to get their way in life, they'll have to take some heads they'll sneak to their parents' room, where there ain't a lock or key and fetch the tried and true of the trade before they leave and no one knows what will happen til the minute they all know another school in red like everybody has heard before and when the tears are shed need i tell you more? but even if you didn't see it before your own eyes are you really gonna wait till someone else lies in their blood? you're gonna wait till they lie in their blood? hah. well, joe had some gamer rage and shot up a college bar john, bullied to the edge, thought they'd never get too far jack was a racist man, so guess who was on the scene? and jim, they say you'd never guess, but he even filmed the whole thing then jake showed some warning signs but everyone shrugged them off there's james, who got dumped again and felt like he had enough and josh, forcing his belief, an evil within his heart we may have acted differently, had we known it all from the start but no one knows what will happen til the second we all know and with the rain of lead the all or nothing we've seen before get it in your heads we should do something more cuz even if you didn't see it before your own eyes are you really gonna wait til someone else dies- like a friend, mom, dad, brother, sister, other- somebody else lies in their blood? are you gonna wait til they lie in their blood?
9.
something about the way you make me feel at night a conversation 'tween the heart against the mind a pull towards a chance to maybe be alright convince myself that you're the only one i need and lose myself in deep devotion, like the sea nobody else can fall so irresponsibly cuz when you say my name i just feel so high and i'm not chained if i'm feeling fine while i'm behind you fate is a little lie but i'm no stranger to keeping time, let me remind you i'll take my place up against the wall turn my face towards a soon-missed call but who needs them when i have it all right here, with you something about the way you make me feel at night a conversation 'tween the heart against the mind a pull towards a chance to maybe be alright (but nobody knows where i've been) convince myself that you're the only one i need and lose myself in deep devotion, like the sea nobody else can fall so irresponsibly (somebody pull me out) cuz when you say my name i just feel so high and i'm not chained if i'm feeling fine while i'm behind you fate is a little lie but i'm no stranger to keeping time, let me remind you i'll take my place up against the wall turn my face towards a soon-missed call but who needs them when i have it all right here, with you no fairytale has ever ended quite the same but if you asked, there's nobody around to blame but me, the fool who chose a fantasy and as it breaks, i finally begin to see the bigger things that i had never ever thought to be all summed up by a voicemail yet when you say my name i just feel so high but i'm still chained if i'm feeling fine while i'm behind you faith in a little lie but i'm no stranger to changing times, let me remind you i'll take my place up against the wall turn my face towards a soon-missed call but who needs them when i have it all right here, with you but i do i've got a voicemail i've got a voicemail
10.
was caught up in a mess now i gotta confess everything that's left in my chest, now i gave it all my best but i've still got regrets i don't get a choice but to rest, now and i've seen plenty of skies told plenty of lies met plenty of guys and gals and others besides but i've dreamt of your eyes tens of thousands of times tears marking the line that i've been waiting to ride and i got lots of questions in mind and impressions of mine dreams i've lost with the time, rewind but i don't wanna miss your goodbyes so if i'm set to leave tonight... tonight... let the door slam shut like you've had enough cuz i don't want you to catch me looking tough no i don't want you to look me in the eyes pleading with the skies, begging i survive, just stay alive if this is the end of me, know i don't want to see you cry, oh if this is the end of me, just don't watch me die, do- don't watch me die-die been praying it's a test a shot at second-best coming clean to all of the rest, now i never would've guessed the feelings in my chest would all come crashing down from the stress, now and i've seen plenty of skies told plenty of lies met plenty of guys and gals and others besides but i've dreamt of your eyes tens of millions of times tears marking the line that i've been waving goodbye if i could have a chance to rewind and make up for the time i was wasting so blind, i'd try to keep myself so plainly alive but if i'm not to dream tonight... let the door slam shut like you've had enough cuz i don't want you to catch me looking tough no i don't want you to look me in the eyes pleading with the skies, begging i survive, just stay alive if this is the end of me, know i don't want to see you cry, oh if this is the end of me, just don't watch me die, do-don't watch me die-die if this is the end of me, just don't watch me die, do-don't watch me die
11.
sleepless 03:51
always been too in my head thought i always could pretend, i'm keeping time while feeling slower than the rest, yet i'll toss and turn while i'm ahead, cuz i've been dreaming about dreaming i've been keeping my eyes shut waiting for the moment i can finally say i'm glad to wake up i'm sleepless, sleepless, sleepless with you sleepless with you, oh i'm sleepless, sleepless, sleepless with you but what can i do? oh i'm sleepless, sleepless with you i'm sleepless, sleepless with you i'm dancing with my silhouette at midnight waiting for the sunrise waltzing in the moonlight connected but exhausted when i'm talking With my friends online i've been dreaming about dreaming and i'm making each wink last thinking i've been blinking too fast i'm sleepless, sleepless, sleepless with you sleepless with you, oh i'm sleepless, sleepless, sleepless with you but what can i do? oh i'm sleepless, sleepless with you i'm sleepless, sleepless with you even if i count my sheep counting one, two, three on repeat, i'll be wide awake even when my body heat drops a few degrees will it be enough to finally make me fall asleep and soundly? fall in deep where i'll be better in the morning certainly but i'm i'm sleepless, sleepless, sleepless with you sleepless with you, oh i'm sleepless, sleepless, sleepless with you but what can i do? oh i'm sleepless, sleepless with you i'm sleepless, sleepless with you i'm sleepless, sleepless with you i'm sleepless, sleepless with you

about

"specters" is album about my fears- some big, some small- featuring vocaloids dex, daina, and avanna, as well as my own vocals.

some of these topics are very personal to me, some of them have strong political context, some of them are more broadly relatable.

most importantly i wanted to write about these fears without constantly expressing "doom and gloom". some of the lyrics are romantic, some invoke fiction, some are directed to the listener, some are hopeful, some are pessimistic.

i hope you find something that resonates with you, too. perhaps you'll use it to learn how to accept, and perhaps overcome, your own fears as well.

credits

released May 29, 2020

music, lyrics: samuel robert blakeslee (nostraightanswer)
vocal: nostraightanswer (1, 5, 6, 7, 8, 10, 11), dex (4, 5, 7), daina (3, 9, 11), avanna (2, 3, 6)
tuning: nostraightanswer (1-6, 8-11), circus-p (2, 7)
illustration: rice

dex, daina, and avanna are vocal synths running on the VOCALOID engine.

thank you to my supporters on Patreon. Without you, none of this is possible. www.patreon.com/nostraightanswer

additional thanks to backers of the InterfaceCollection on Kickstarter.

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about

nostraightanswer Orlando, Florida

Freelance Electronic Musician by trade.
Vocal synth user by hobby.
Voice provider for Zero-G Ltd's VOCALOID4 Library, DEX. www.zero-g.co.uk/store/vocaloid4-dex-p544.php

Most well known for "Define Me". youtu.be/czHGGKr1aCQ

Notable for the quality of his VOCALOID tuning, particularly with English VOCALOID libraries, as well as musical and lyrical composition.
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