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bokeh

from specters by nostraightanswer

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about

"bokeh" is a personal song. i've been battling with the legal system regarding my visual acuity for a while- i'm legally blind, and with that i can't even drive a car- and one of my biggest fears is actually the potential that i might go totally blind. it'll obviously build up to that point, but even now i can tell my vision is slowly degrading. while other people have made the transition slowly but surely, and accessibility has made plenty of technology accessible even now, there is so much that i do now- particularly in music and illustration- that i rely on vision to accomplish. (navigating a DAW for music- illustrating just in general is self-explanatory.)

i suppose this song has romanticized that potential to some capacity- somehow, that's how i've come to terms with it.

it was the fourth and final single released from the album. nostraightanswer.bandcamp.com/album/bokeh

it's also the only song off specters i've played for my parents during this process that has made my mother openly weep.

lyrics

while the lights burn red in the back of my eyes
i take deep breaths; just a matter of time
before the world laid before me, with starlit skies
blurs into oblivion, but you'll still thrive

if all i'll have left are the memories
of your dark eyes, as close as we'd be
it breaks my heart that i'll never ever see them again
i'll want to see them again

but not even the future can predict what i might see
what i might see
what might i see?

i know one day i'll fly away
and find someplace where i might stay
where i'll pretend to see my face
in the mirror on the wall i placed

and if you were to come to me
with one last gift that i might see

a bouquet's a bouquet,
and that's well and okay
but i won't pretend if i only see bokeh

perhaps one day i'll become a machine
and view our world like no human being
but even then, they'll be camera feeds
and soon all that tech will be obsolete

then i'll need it all replaced
all this just to see your face
it'd break my heart if i couldn't see a trace anymore
can't be replaced anymore

and not even the future can predict what i might do
what would i do?

i know one day i'll fly away
and find someplace where i might stay
where i'll pretend to see my face
in the mirror on the wall i placed

and if you were to come to me
with one last gift that i might see

a bouquet's a bouquet,
and that's well and okay
but i won't pretend if i only see bokeh

but i won't pretend if i only see bokeh
but i won't pretend if i only see bokeh
but i won't pretend b-but i won't pretend b-but
but i won't pretend b-but i won't but i won't

credits

from specters, released May 29, 2020
music, lyrics, vocal: nostraightanswer

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about

nostraightanswer image

nostraightanswer Orlando, Florida

Freelance Electronic Musician by trade.
Vocal synth user by hobby.
Voice provider for Zero-G Ltd's VOCALOID4 Library, DEX. www.zero-g.co.uk/store/vocaloid4-dex-p544.php

Most well known for "Define Me". youtu.be/czHGGKr1aCQ

Notable for the quality of his VOCALOID tuning, particularly with English VOCALOID libraries, as well as musical and lyrical composition. ... more

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