Backed by Interface Collection backers on Kickstarter, this limited physical edition comes in a jewel case with full color printed CD, insert, and 16 page booklet, alongside a collection of related merchandise, all featuring visuals by rice.
UPDATE: Due to manufacturing limitations and COVID-19, the specters limited edition will no longer be signed, nor include a dust cover.
this song is the all-important work about my thanatophobia, addressing it from a fictional deathbed. thanatophobia is also known as "death anxiety", and it happens to be my biggest, but potentially most empathetic, fear.
at least, i wish people empathized with it. i can't go one conversation about my thanatophobia without someone saying the lovely words, "but it's inevitable so you might as well accept it." like i didn't know that! thanatophobic attacks keep me wide awake at night. my personal observation of these attacks is that they are often self-actualizing loops, and taking control of my own situation is a crisis negotiation. the three words you should never say to anyone with thanatophobia, about thanatophobia, are "just accept it."
lyrics
was caught up in a mess
now i gotta confess
everything that's left in my chest, now
i gave it all my best
but i've still got regrets
i don't get a choice but to rest, now
and i've seen plenty of skies
told plenty of lies
met plenty of guys and gals and others besides
but i've dreamt of your eyes
tens of thousands of times
tears marking the line that i've been waiting to ride
and i got lots of questions in mind
and impressions of mine
dreams i've lost with the time, rewind
but i don't wanna miss your goodbyes
so if i'm set to leave tonight... tonight...
let the door slam shut like you've had enough
cuz i don't want you to catch me looking tough
no i don't want you to look me in the eyes
pleading with the skies, begging i survive, just stay alive
if this is the end of me, know
i don't want to see you cry, oh
if this is the end of me, just
don't watch me die, do- don't watch me die-die
been praying it's a test
a shot at second-best
coming clean to all of the rest, now
i never would've guessed
the feelings in my chest
would all come crashing down from the stress, now
and i've seen plenty of skies
told plenty of lies
met plenty of guys and gals and others besides
but i've dreamt of your eyes
tens of millions of times
tears marking the line that i've been waving goodbye
if i could have a chance to rewind
and make up for the time
i was wasting so blind, i'd try
to keep myself so plainly alive
but if i'm not to dream tonight...
let the door slam shut like you've had enough
cuz i don't want you to catch me looking tough
no i don't want you to look me in the eyes
pleading with the skies, begging i survive, just stay alive
if this is the end of me, know
i don't want to see you cry, oh
if this is the end of me, just
don't watch me die, do-don't watch me die-die
if this is the end of me, just
don't watch me die, do-don't watch me die
credits
from specters,
released May 29, 2020
music, lyrics, vocal: nostraightanswer
Circus's "715" is an excellent evolution of his sound and style since the "Lucid" days. I'm extremely proud to be part of it (on "Patches", "Castaway" remix), and thoroughly enjoy the entire album. nostraightanswer
Melt came into my orbit by covering a song I recorded for Circus-P. Since then, her own sound has become something quite special, and has made herself a mainstay of the English VOCALOID scene. nostraightanswer
supported by 42 fans who also own “don't watch me die”
I've loved 715 and still listen to it very often, and now I have spectrum!!! Nice!!! i'm excited to listen to this like 123456789 times envoxa-the fan account LOL why is this a separate thing?
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