My Impulse

from SYNTECH+ by nostraightanswer

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about

The second song I wrote with DEX, but the first one I finished.

This song is about triggers, summoned traumatic memories or feelings after being exposed to a stimulus. I experience this primarily in regards to motorized vehicles, certain experiences with my parents, and thanatophobia, a "irrational" (debatable) fear of death. It's about reaching out to people, objects, deities, who or which may or may not help you through a traumatic attack.

A particular line is very specific to me, though I realize it could be associated with those who have background in the military: "Tell me, won't you tell me / I'll be going home tonight?" refers to a phrase my sister and I use when we are overly stressed or anxious. We say it even when we /are/ home, because at the moment's utterance, it certainly wouldn't feel like it.

lyrics

What did I do to call upon these memories?
What blew the fuse?
How can I see something I locked
Tight and threw away the key?

It doesn't even matter now
It shouldn't even matter now
Why does it even matter now
If I'm supposed to be safe and sound?

I feel like going numb
Now my mind comes undone

Tell me it'll be alright
Tell me that I will be fine
Tell me it's okay to cry
Tell me hope is still alive

Tell me what I should be saying
Tell me that we all need saving
Tell me, won't you tell me
I'll be going home tonight?

But when push comes to shove
All the answers may not come from above
So why do I love
To reach out so much?

Tell me it'll be alright
Tell me that I will be fine
Tell me it's okay to cry
Tell me hope is still alive

Tell me what I should be saying
Tell me that we all need saving
Tell me, won't you tell me
I'll be going home tonight?

Tell me it'll be alright
Tell me that I will be fine
Tell me it's okay to cry
Tell me hope is still alive

Tell me what I should be saying
Tell me that we all need saving
Tell me, no don't you tell me
That, "It's all a part of life..."

"...Like it or not."

credits

from SYNTECH+, released July 11, 2019
Music, lyrics, tuning: Samuel Robert Blakeslee (nostraightanswer)
Vocal: DEX

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about

nostraightanswer Orlando, Florida

Freelance Electronic Musician by trade.
Vocal synth user by hobby.
Voice provider for Zero-G Ltd's VOCALOID4 Library, DEX. www.zero-g.co.uk/store/vocaloid4-dex-p544.php

Most well known for "Define Me". youtu.be/czHGGKr1aCQ

Notable for the quality of his VOCALOID tuning, particularly with English VOCALOID libraries, as well as musical and lyrical composition. ... more

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