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bokeh

by nostraightanswer

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1.
bokeh 04:28
while the lights burn red in the back of my eyes i take deep breaths; just a matter of time before the world laid before me, with starlit skies blurs into oblivion, but you'll still thrive if all i'll have left are the memories of your dark eyes, as close as we'd be it breaks my heart that i'll never ever see them again i'll want to see them again but not even the future can predict what i might see what i might see what might i see? i know one day i'll fly away and find someplace where i might stay where i'll pretend to see my face in the mirror on the wall i placed and if you were to come to me with one last gift that i might see a bouquet's a bouquet and that's well and okay but i won't pretend if i only see bokeh perhaps one day i'll become a machine and view our world like no human being but even then, they'll be camera feeds and soon all that tech will be obsolete then i'll need it all replaced all this just to see your face it'd break my heart if i couldn't see a trace anymore can't be replaced anymore and not even the future can predict what i might do what would i do? i know one day i'll fly away and find someplace where i might stay where i'll pretend to see my face in the mirror on the wall i placed and if you were to come to me with one last gift that i might see a bouquet's a bouquet and that's well and okay but i won't pretend if i only see bokeh (but i won't pretend if i only see bokeh) (but i won't pretend if i only see bokeh) (but i won't pretend b-but i won't pretend b-but) (but i won't pretend b-but i won't but i won't)
2.
while the lights burn red in the back of my eyes i take deep breaths; just a matter of time before the world laid before me, with starlit skies blurs into oblivion, but you'll still thrive if all i'll have left are the memories of your dark eyes, as close as we'd be it breaks my heart that i'll never ever see them again i'll want to see them again but not even the future can predict what i might see what i might see what might i see? i know one day i'll fly away and find someplace where i might stay where i'll pretend to see my face in the mirror on the wall i placed and if you were to come to me with one last gift that i might see a bouquet's a bouquet and that's well and okay but i won't pretend if i only see bokeh perhaps one day i'll become a machine and view our world like no human being but even then, they'll be camera feeds and soon all that tech will be obsolete then i'll need it all replaced all this just to see your face it'd break my heart if i couldn't see a trace anymore can't be replaced anymore and not even the future can predict what i might do what would i do? i know one day i'll fly away and find someplace where i might stay where i'll pretend to see my face in the mirror on the wall i placed and if you were to come to me with one last gift that i might see a bouquet's a bouquet and that's well and okay but i won't pretend if i only see bokeh (but i won't pretend if i only see bokeh) (but i won't pretend if i only see bokeh) (but i won't pretend b-but i won't pretend b-but) (but i won't pretend b-but i won't but i won't)

about

"bokeh" is a personal song. i've been battling with the legal system regarding my visual acuity for a while- i'm legally blind, and with that i can't even drive a car- and one of my biggest fears is actually the potential that i might go totally blind. it'll obviously build up to that point, but even now i can tell my vision is slowly degrading. while other people have made the transition slowly but surely, and accessibility has made plenty of technology accessible even now, there is so much that i do now- particularly in music and illustration- that i rely on vision to accomplish. (navigating a DAW for music- illustrating just in general is self-explanatory.)

i suppose this song has romanticized that potential to some capacity- somehow, that's how i've come to terms with it.

it's the fourth and final single off of "specters"- a concept album about my fears, some big and some small. nostraightanswer.bandcamp.com/album/specters

it's also the only song off specters i've played for my parents during this process that has made my mother openly weep.

credits

released April 24, 2020

music, lyrics, vocal: samuel robert blakeslee (nostraightanswer)
illustration: rice (twitter.com/rice_deity)

Thank you to my supporters on Patreon. Without you, none of this is possible. www.patreon.com/nostraightanswer

LotusEcho, Carl Corey, RexelDexel, PK9614, [Plum] TarotSenpai, Draya-z, Agatechlo, Maika Larouche, Emma, Dylan Hayes-Weber, GHOST, Shinji-C, Goldarcanine, ricedeity, qing jiu ke ke, Josie, Many Sammiches, Nebula, Victoria Lombardi, imortalghost, Michael Hasty, Justin, Blaskeggr, Hollow, Zaya Dawg, Marsie, Darryll Parsons, Maggie Lozano, HeatherCatz, Lazardsama, Robin Goodfellow, Lanaleh, Devsies, khanadee, Narmada, PaintedCz, Circus, Andy

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about

nostraightanswer Orlando, Florida

Freelance Electronic Musician by trade.
Vocal synth user by hobby.
Voice provider for Zero-G Ltd's VOCALOID4 Library, DEX. www.zero-g.co.uk/store/vocaloid4-dex-p544.php

Most well known for "Define Me". youtu.be/czHGGKr1aCQ

Notable for the quality of his VOCALOID tuning, particularly with English VOCALOID libraries, as well as musical and lyrical composition.
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